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Connecting with Your Unborn Baby During Surrogacy

Parents to be embarking on the surrogacy journey are often faced with the predicament of bonding with their unborn child. It might seem like forming a connection with your child growing inside another woman’s womb, is difficult however, there are actually several different ways through which you can enjoy feeling closer to your little peanut.

surrogacy
Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

Talk to them


It’s as simple as that. If you reside in the same city or country as your surrogate, you can plan visits to get some exclusive time to talk to your baby, so that they identify with your voice from early on. However, in many instances, Intended Parents are geographically miles apart from the surrogate and their baby, in which case it’s still fairly easy to converse with you child. Thanks to good tech, you can send plenty of voice notes to the surro-mama for relaying to the baby, including your favorite songs, bedtime stories, poems or lullabies. Listening to you repeatedly will help them familiarize themselves with your voice.

surrogacy bonding
Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

Baby’s preferences

Pregnant women often talk about their babies being most active at night when they lay down. Studies reveal that is probably because while you’re walking around or doing house chores, the movement lulls the baby to sleep. And when you’re sitting or lying down, the baby wakes up due to the lack of movement. This explains why newborns want to be “rocked” to sleep. Experiencing tiny things like these during your surrogacy journey might seem like a challenge but small steps and tips can really make you feel better connected.
Ask your surrogate about your baby’s preferences and activity times. Babies also respond to certain flavors favorably while inside. Ask the surro-mama what kind of cravings is the baby inducing? Does she crave sweets or more savory foods? That’s a good clue to finding out what your little one’s taste-buds (developed at week 13-15 already) enjoy more.

Decorate the nursery

Count yourself lucky for not having to assemble impossibly difficult nursery furniture with swollen feet or picking out shades for the accent wall while dealing with morning sickness. Utilize this time proactively and get the nursery ready for the arrival of the stork and your little bundle of joy. Once the baby comes home, he/she might not be able to acknowledge your efforts right away as he/she makes messes on the spotless white rug you picked for the room, but trust me, it’s all the worth the effort.

Photo by Irina Murza on Unsplash

Baby Registry

The importance of this cannot be emphasized enough. List down all the essential items you would be needing once the baby is here, which might seem like the entire inventory of BuyBuyBaby, however talk to your friends and family and discuss what items you’d need absolutely ready before the grand arrival. Picking out stuff you love and coordinating it with everything you’ve learned about the baby can help you feel even more emotionally connected.

Baby’s sense of smell

Your baby’s 5 senses begin developing inside the womb somewhere between weeks 16 to 21. Intended Parents can ask the surro-mama to start keeping a teddy-bear next to her during this timeframe to help the baby take in and familiarize himself/herself with some scents. Once the baby is born, the stuffed toy can travel to the IP’s home with them, serving as a transitional connection for the baby.

Birth of baby

When the moment you’ve been impatiently waiting for, for far more than 9 months, finally arrives try and let the baby confirm their senses as he/she struggles to touch the surro-mama’s face or hands. In all fairness, it’s what they’re most easily able to recognize so make sure to allow some time for the baby and surro-mama to spend together in physical contact just so the baby can ease into the life outside the womb. Be wary of whether your surrogate is emotionally ready to hold the baby or not and plan your post-birth activities accordingly.

bonding with a surrogate baby
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Skin-to-skin contact

Spend lots of skin-to-skin time together. There’s nothing stronger than the power of touch while you hold your tiny miracle in your arms. Make sure to cradle and caress the baby abundantly, helping him/her acknowledge and recognize your touch.

Final Thoughts

Surrogacy is definitely not an easy journey, for either the Intended Parents or the Surrogate however employing certain behaviors and techniques can aid your and the baby’s transition from the womb to your home.

If you’ve decided to go the surrogacy path, we are here to help make the process as easy and stress-free for you as possible. Patriot Conceptions is one of LA’s leading surrogacy facilities with a vast pool of dedicated, loving and compassionate surrogates, and we are proud to partner with them in helping make surrogacy a blissful reality for you.

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